If it seems that your marriage is ending, one of your primary concerns may be how the separation will impact your children. Divorce can be a big blow for you and your partner, even if you saw it coming. However, it’s hard to imagine how much harder the separation will be for children because they’re still developing.
Of course, every child’s response to divorce is unique; however, certain commonalities in emotional, psychological and behavioral responses are concerns. Although it’s impossible to shield children entirely from the pain of your separation, it’s important to make proactive efforts to minimize the damage the divorce might have on your offspring.
How the children may be affected
Receiving the news of your divorce can trigger a range of emotional and psychological responses in your children. Depending on their age, you may notice your kids grappling with:
- Anxiety
- Confusion
- Depression
- Anger
- Sadness
How your child reacts to divorce will depend on their developmental stage. Young children may experience confusion as they struggle to understand the situation. They may even believe they are to blame for the separation. School-aged children may be preoccupied with what the divorce would mean for their routine and the potential loss of the life they’re familiar with. Adolescents are more likely to be angry at you for getting a divorce, and they may exhibit resentment and aggression. Teenagers may also worry about whether they should take sides and if they have to choose who to live with.
Supporting your children
During divorce, it’s easy to get preoccupied with the logistics of separation and forget that the children need your support during this challenging transition. A good way to prioritize the kids’ well-being is by checking in with them and answering their questions honestly. Remind them that all the emotions they’re feeling are normal because the news of divorce introduces thoughts they likely have never had before. Your children may be worried about:
- The uncertainty of their future
- The upcoming changes in their routines
- The potential loss of the familiar home environment they’ve been used to
Remember to have age-appropriate engagement to help ensure you meet each child at their point of need.
Going through divorce as a parent is undeniably tough. It’s okay to lean on a reliable legal group to handle the logistics of the divorce to help ensure that you can support your children during this difficult transition.
